I have a moderate case of OCD. The kind where it's okay if things are messy, but if the wrong things are messy or if the goddamned light switches aren't all in the same direction, a little teeny-tiny part of my brain explodes and my eye twitches, almost imperceptibly.
Last night I read somewhere that every 2 lbs of food you eat will be turned into 1/3 lb of poo.
I want to share the simplest of pleasures with you.
Monkey see:
oh those heavy-hooded girl-eyes, eyebrows like small slender fox-pelts; and her dim gray glance askance, half-shuttered as the bug before her clicks, snaps, flares. Murder by flashbulb: she's been shot innumerable times.
Monkey do:
with a love-letter condensed into a bracket and a three, I tell her I adore her.
It's like being in a dream. I love the way she makes me smile. It is a genuine smile. The kind that you can't even tell that you are doing it until you feel that stretch and pain on your cheeks from doing it too long. I fantasize about the "hello" and am hoping we can freeze the "goodbye" so it takes forever to arrive. A little over a month is what I'm gonna get. I wish I could just take a whole month vacation so I could just stay home with her. Yesterday I talked about putting rocks in my socks but not getting my socks rocked. Well, she really does rock my socks off!
She emerges out of nowhere and all I can think of is saying "Pinche destino"! Pinche destino that is keeping me here and her there. Pinche destino that keeps holding me back. I imagine her outstretched hands reaching out for me as a long black curl of her hair covers her eyes. I imagine her in random situations that only make me smile more and more. It is all too real that it is U N R E A L!
I did a very mature thing yesterday, and I am fairly proud of myself. I sacrificed my own happiness for the happiness and well being of others.
Do you ever just pass people by and think to yourself, "Well that person certainly seems interesting. . ."? I don't mean interesting as some euphemism for something negative. I mean interesting as in, "Well that person certainly looks like an intriguing specimen of human life, and I'd like very much to talk to them about the world sometime." I keep passing by a few such people sometimes, and I keep thinking this.
But I'm far too shy.
